EYES OPEN FOCUS

I went to a spinning class this morning and when it got really intense I was hitting the required RPMs and I closed my eyes thinking I was going flat out.After a while when I opened my eyes I realised that I was hitting only half the required RPM speed.

This got me thinking about how important it is to keep your eyes on the scoreboard so you know exactly how well or how badly you are doing at all times. Many people in their careers, businesses, family life don’t even have a scoreboard let alone keep their eyes on it.

The definition of  a scorecard is a statistical record used to measure achievement or progress towards a particular goal. We all should have goals in every area of our lives. A goal is the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. Say for example you want to get healthy, your first step is to find out what constitutes good health , then you set out an agenda that will help you achieve the results. This is called setting goals.

Why do you need to set goals? To have focus and goals do this. If you are not focused, everything will distract you. Goals allow you to measure your progress. When you know the route you should take and the results to expect at each point, each milestone by which you have the expected result or not (as the case may be) helps you measure your  progress.

Goals give you mental boundaries so that you keep to the script in order to achieve the goals. Setting goals helps you not to procrastinate. What is procrastination? Procrastination is putting off what you need to do now till  later or maybe never.

Finally, goals motivate you constantly, especially as and when you achieve a step and you are moving to the next step.

However, life is not only about your goals or your path in life. There are many things going on. this is why when you set goals they have to be S.M.A.R.T so that you can keep your eyes on what is going on.

Like my spinning class, if you take your eyes off the dashboard of what controls your goals like the timing and the achieved goals and what needs to be done, you may have slowed down or gone off track completely but you will be fooled by your huffing and puffing that is actually getting you nowhere fast.

Even when your eyes are wide open sometimes you have to be sure you are paying attention to the correct things at the correct time.

Some examples of what you should have a dashboard for, relationships, career,strengths weaknesses, spiritual life, health, nutrition, exercise, the list is endless.

Even when you have a dashboard it is important to know exactly what you need to monitor.A, for example, would be a man who has a family and spends his time making money to look after this family to the detriment of spending time with them. The said family don’t know him and quite frankly he does not know them either. When he is old and grey and expects loving care from the said family, he does not get it the way he thinks he deserves to get it.

Now this is tragic because he worked his behind off for them but the said family feel justified because they do as much for him as they  would do for any stranger they don’t have a real relationship with. He dies a bitter man who feels unloved and reacts to his family negatively which drives them further away and when he dies all are relieved and give him a ‘befitting’ funeral, thinking ‘that’s that about that’.

Also, it could be a high performing and high achieving mum who drives her children crazy by expecting too much from them. She is impossible to live with because of it’s all about high grades. She has the children doing every form of co -curricular activity, music, chess, sports, bible study classes, make-up and the list is endless. Her husband cannot get a word in edgeways because she is on top of it all. (I hope this is not me. I better ask the children if they enjoyed all those extra things they have learnt over the years. I wonder if it is not too late to make amends if I find I was driving them nuts. Oh dear!)

The children are pushed into areas of work they hate and end up with well-paying jobs but they are overweight because they are unhappy with work and want out , but don’t want to upset Mum who made such ‘sacrifices’ to ensure they attained great heights.

Another type is the young girl who has set a goal to be married by the time she is twenty-four years old and is now twenty-two years old , going out (that does not sound right) is now seeing (that sounds even worse), is now being courted(that is definitely not what it is ) anyway you know what I am talking about. She is with this boy who has absolutely no regard for her or her family but has mentioned once or twice that he will marry her because quite frankly she is a great catch (but she does not know this). She ends up marrying him and then, surprise, surprise, he morphs into a monster.

There is the business owner who continues to take on all kinds of customers, with his eyes on the amount of business he is doing and not on the actual amount of actual profit he is making. The truth is you can’t buy a product $1 and sell hundreds of it at half the price and expect to make a profit.

There is also the young , beautiful intelligent lady who sleeps with the boss on numerous occasions because he gives her money to send her younger siblings to school as their Dad abandoned them when their mother died young. She hates herself but she wants to fulfil her promise to her dying mother.

She makes the money and sends them to good schools and they get a good education, but she ends up with a chronic ailment like IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) because of the emotional scars that remain as a result of what she had to do to get the money. She could not enjoy the fruits of her labour.

The workaholic man should have set his goals such that there was some balance in his life. This is to ensure that he developed a relationship with his family not just throwing money at anything that moved.

The hyper mother should have programmed some balance into her life so that the children would also program balance into their lives fully embracing joy, peace and smelling the roses. Not turning into robots going through the motions of life and living, in turn raising robots etc.

The girl who desperately wants to tick marriage off her list should find out her worth, what marriage is all about before she sets her goals and ends up marrying a monster.

The young lady sleeping with her boss because of her siblings , should not have done that because the Almighty who created them does not need help ensuring that they fulfil destiny. When they fulfil destiny she should know it was not through the efforts of big sister. There are many ways, they say to skin a cat, in this case, there are many more palatable ways to raise money for education. Even if they did not get any education…….ask Steve Job.

Continuing with the analogy of my spinning class, each bike has its own dashboard and in many instances, you should be preoccupied with your dashboard and even if you are not, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to see the dashboard of the person next to you. This really just leaves you guessing the speed they are going at and the gears they are riding at. If you are guessing , I can assure you that that is all it is, a guessing game. You really cannot give a correct evaluation just by looking and guessing.

Some people are sweating profusely but may not be doing very much in terms of speed and resistance. That may just be their metabolism and body type. Some look really serious , again that may just be a look and they may not be doing much. Some look like they are not doing much but they may have their eyes on the dashboard and also have such a good technic such that they are going flat out but looking cool doing it.

All this just says you can only focus on your dashboard and not that of another person.

Eyes open focus should help you move ahead with your goals. What are you focusing on? Are they the right things. Trust you are not letting what is going on around you determine your focus.

Keep your eyes open. I once heard a blind person speak on the gift of blindness, which makes them focus without being easily distracted. That may be so but remember that because they are blind, the blind have learnt to compensate by honing their skills and senses such that they have internal replacement eyes that help them focus.

Are your eyes open, especially to the right things? Keep them open. Keep them on the right things and you will be fulfilled.

Oh, I just had an Isaac Newton experience. I had advertised a training course,  remember I am trying to set up business in London, way outside my comfort zone. My daughter and I designed a really nice flyer advertising a group life coaching session. On the appointed day, only three people turned up, as if that was not bad enough, the venue had double booked the room I was supposed to use and  guess who got booted out.

I am not phased, however. I now know a couple of things about the system in London, England. Rooms get double booked in London also. I am laughing now but on the day I was a little upset but had to get over it and keep it moving. No time to mope.

Have a great week.

 

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Oh for the Garden of Eden…again!!!

Most of us have watched Jurassic Park or a film like that , portrayed through someone’s imagination and where we are whisked into a far away , hundreds of years ago land where animals like the dinosaur  still roam around and so on. You catch my drift.

By the way, I have been reading up about writing and publishing and I am learning the right way and the wrong way of writing. I am not sure I should really be saying ‘you catch my drift’. I will say it this time, so you can know that I am not a robot but a real human. I am sure you catch my drift this time.

Anyway who made the rules? Rules are sometimes made to be broken. Ooops did Ijust say that?  Be careful which rules you break. If for instance, you break a traffic rule, it may be the difference between life and death. Having said that many successful people broke rules. Not all rules were made for the right reasons. Many times rules are made in order to manipulate people, animals and things.

Come with me on a journey exploring the Garden of Eden and a glimpse into how life must have been back then. (You know you don’t really believe the big bang theory, it is just a good comedy).Almighty had put everything a human being  would need there even before man was created. Imagine that most people have bought all their baby needs before they bring the baby home.The place was beautiful, with the natural order . I am not sure natural order here means everything was peaceful and serene all the time. After all  the natural order is that some animals eat some other animals in order to survive.

The place was beautiful, with things in order..the natural order. I am not sure natural order here means everything was peaceful and serene all the time. After all , the natural order is that some animals eat some other animals in order to survive.

Almighty had said to Adam, that he should eat all the different herbs and fruits created and have dominion over everything else. He did not actually say Adam could eat meat but I guess you can interpret ‘have dominion over’ anyway you want. ( are we all supposed to be vegetarian? I guess Almighty has always been great on free will). Whatever we say Adam and Eve were healthy not only because they ate all natural stuff (probably raw) as prescribed by Almighty but because they exercised, did not stress about anything and slept well. There were no distractions. They were content with what they had.

You can contrast this with the lives of many people, where they don’t eat the right things, are distracted, stressed out and therefore unhealthy.

Adam had to work because Almighty set him to work tending the Garden. (He did not just laze around sunbathing as many like to think he did.) I am guessing  Adam was in maintenance. Ensuring things functioned as they were meant to. He must have also done some harvesting and re-planting, in fact, I am sure he did all manner of things that were never even included in his original job description. All this he did without murmuring or complaining.

This again is not a wonder he was healthy. He lived a complaint, blame-free life. All those things including gossip don’t promote anyone at work.It all just brings stress.

He must never have been bored. Adam would have had to be dynamic to do so many different things.  (Please note I said dynamic, not multi-tasking. The psychologists now know that no one can multitask successfully. You can’t do two things at exactly the same time and do them well.One thing will always be better done than the other or they will both be badly done).In all of this, he did not have to fuss over his wages or the quantity of the harvest and how much he was going to get for it.There must have been so much to do that God created Eve not just to keep Adam company but also to help him in his many endeavors.

Also in all of this, he did not have to fuss over his wages or the quantity of the harvest and how much he was going to get for it.There must have been so much to do that God created Eve not just to keep Adam company but also to help him in his many endeavors.

Eve in the garden helped everywhere and anywhere she was called upon to, which is why she had to be submissive. She needed to show up when and where needed not just anywhere and anytime she felt she wanted to. Adam was serious and dynamic so he would not have been giving silly assignments just because he could or making petty complaints. He would not have had time for such tomfoolery.

Adam must have done the heavy lifting, after all, he had been in the garden longer and he was naturally built stronger. However, he was also smart enough to recognise Eve’s skills and temperament. He was a great manager and would not have wanted down time over petty squabbles and such like.

Adam, recognised Eve’s usefulness and importance, because, without her , he would not have been able to achieve much. They, however, would not have had too many arguments about money, because Eve had as much access to stuff as Adam. If for any reason Adam was being a stumbling block, she went straight to Almighty.

Almighty  chatted to the couple often and knew immediately anything was up with them. I guess that happens everywhere not only in the Garden of Eden. Even after they had done the wrong thing, He was not upset with them, they just had to suffer the consequence of their actions.

Even though this is not the topic for today, yes every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You can’t do just everything and anything you want without also getting the consequence, good or bad. We like good consequences but get upset and blame somebody , anybody when the consequence is bad even though in many instances we were warned.

The lions and other animals did what Adam and Eve told them to do. That must have been really cool. The mosquito was in the Garden, and I wonder how that was? I guess Adam and Eve still exercised dominion and made it sit in the corner a few times for being naughty. They definitely did not kill it or mosquitoes would not be here now.

They did not wear anything, how liberating that they did not have to stand in front of a wardrobe full of all sorts of clothes in all styles, shapes and sizes and still not find something they think is nice or appropriate.

Even though Almighty had put gold in the Garden and had probably discussed with Adam and Eve, (sorry I keep saying their names because I don’t want to say Adam and his wife or Eve and her husband, just a pet peeve of mine) good it was I imagine that their chairs in some of their hangouts were gold. They did not stress themselves to knock it into earrings etc. They may have used gold as mirrors but then again, what would they have needed a mirror for. Eve may have needed to use a mirror to put flowers in her hair but I can’t think of what else for.

I am sure there are some people who would rather die than go out without having looked in a mirror. Those people may not be too excited at the prospect of living in Eden. I don’t think you need worry about that. I believe if you have the opportunity to live in Eden, it will be so beautiful you will forget your own beauty (or presumed lack of it).

This is just a tip of the iceberg (talking of ice, they would not have needed any because everything was so cool. The temperature of everything was just right. Everything was just right. No little Korombey starving in any corner of the Garden needing you to send money to dig a well).The beauty and the awesomeness of the Garden cannot be described in a blog. Even having a baby there would have been at a sneeze because labour during childbirth is a consequence of the actions of Adam and Eve.

Okay, this is all very interesting, what has it got to do with anything let alone catapult?After all the Garden of Eden is done. Well, what if I told you that you can live as though you were in the Garden even right now in the midst of this ….. world?

If you have been reading these posts , you will remember I talked about PP in one of them. Again PP is the acronym for Prince of Peace. He is Almighty’s son and he was hung on a cross till He died as an atonement for the actions of Adam and Eve that got them expelled from the Garden. His action of allowing people to hang Him on a cross to die has the consequence of atonement for those who believe this in their hearts and say this belief with their mouths. This act of believing and confessing brings us back to the life in the Garden.

Three days after He died on the cross, PP came alive again and this was possible because He is Almighty’s son and is more powerful than death.This story seems to be the ultimate fantasy novelette but the difference is that it is true.

PP’s death and resurrection results in  peace, joy, abundance, divine health and so much more for those of us who believe. However the snake in the Garden is in the world and even as he played mind games on Eve, he is still around playing mind games. He can make you who believe, think that despite and in spite of, things are going wrong. This can make you despondent.

I want us to remember that even though Adam and Eve had a nice life in the Garden, they still had to work, got cuts and bruises from the work, had to settle any inter -couple disputes with God’s help and so much more.

The fact that you believe and are going through stuff, may just be a mind game. Don’t be taken in. Talk your situation through with Almighty. Remember that in the Garden, Adam and Eve talked many things through with Him. You don’t need anybody to help you talk to him. You can even find out from the Manual what you need to do to get out of the funk. He is the Manual and the Manual is Him.

Many times, not all the time, the problem is that we are so busy discussing our issues with all who have an ear and five minutes to listen instead of taking it to the Almighty or searching out what the Manual says about it.

I am always referring you to the Manual because Almighty who made us sent us to this earth with a manual so we can function properly and be of the best use. He speaks to us through the Manual, which is why I said He is the Manual. When we read a Toyota car manual we know it is Toyota speaking to us. Without a manual where do we know to put the spark plugs ?

If you have never said with your mouth that you believe the PP story of dying on the cross and coming back to life so we could be back in Eden, just say it and ask PP into your heart and watch Eden unfold.

What this has to do with Catapult is that nothing can catapult you further into your destiny than you having a great life in Eden. There are many principles and rules to live by but this is a great one to start with.

October starts in a couple of days. Don’t get anxious if you don’t think you have achieved much because trust me you have. Someone is playing a mind game on you, don’t be taken in. If you think you have done somethings don’t be fooled into settling for mediocrity, even the sky is not the limit.

 

 

 

 

Why does he walk that way….

There are many times we look at some people and we wonder why they walk the way they do. We think “oh he is so arrogant, see the way he walks”, “oh my word, she is walking as though she owns the place”.

I know someone who walks as though she is walking the catwalk. It turns out that she has scoliosis and had a metal rod inserted along her spine that makes her seem she is walking the catwalk. I know another chap, who when you are having a conversation suddenly tilts forward close to you. People usually step back thinking he is trying to be fresh. It turns out that he is deaf in one ear and has to lean his good ear close to the speaker’s mouth in order for him to hear properly.

I know of a young lady who married a geek. However, after a while, the very qualities that endeared him to her started annoying her to the point where she divorced him. A few months later she stumbled on an article about Asperger’s syndrome and she went crazy. This was because she realised that she was reading about her ex-husband. He was not cold and emotionless after all, he had a condition that had gone undetected. She felt bad that if she had known , she would have found out how to manage him.

Many times we assume a thing about a person because of our conclusions of them from our perspective. The truth, however, is that we cannot assume things based on our not having all the facts. The manual for Living says we should not judge a matter, where we have not heard the two side.

When you meet a person, you are meeting their representative not necessarily the real person. Most of us put up a front when we meet people, and even when we have known them for a while it becomes too late to show them who we really are. In some cases even when we want them to know who we really are, we get the impression they are not interested in what we have to offer and we just keep our representative on show. Of course from our discuss today, this may not even be their intention.

This is going to be a short post to just make us understand that there are many reasons why some things are going on or not going on as the case may be ,and it is not always for the reasons we think we know. We make ourselves so ill thinking we know the reason why something is the way it is and yet we may be totally wrong.

Relationships can be very difficult when those in them are not the real people but just the representatives. I feel I am getting into deep water here getting myself entangled with relationships. We are all in relationships and most of us yearn to hear more about relationships and how to make them work better or even work at all.

I think it is always better to think the best of the next person. So let me take married couples. They love each other at certain times and at certain times they don’t. These days whether courtship is long or short, people are getting married for the wrong reasons and the couple don’t know their real spouse, just the representative.They are therefore always having to guess what the other person really means by their speech and their actions. A representative could be anybody depending on what the situation calls for. Imagine even your own response when someone you like comes to your door as opposed to someone you don’t like. The same ‘you’ responds in two distinct and different ways.

So let me take an example of couple AB. Let us say for example choosing what school their first child will attend. The couple both went to mixed schools and even though they have never discussed it, the husband assumes their child will automatically attend a mixed school. The wife does not know what her husband thinks but she feels that choosing a boarding school is her responsibility because she chose the primary school and as such, she will get to choose what type of school and in what area.

She feels she is better suited to do this because she is better educated and indeed comes from a family where education is a big deal and she grew up with all the nuances associated with education and being educated. This is unlike the husband who comes from a family where he is the first to really get a college level education even though he never got high grades just coasted by.

Two years before their son had to go off to boarding school, Wifey had been doing research and had zeroed in on certain boys only schools. Believing that she has done really well, she presents the list to hubby who did not even realize that they needed to start searching for schools that early. He feels his wife is trying upstage him. His first reaction was to think the worst.

Even though he feels like this, he genuinely wants his son to attend a mixed school, like himself and his wife. He does not know this research she is talking about and feels his wife just wants to, again, put him down.

Hubby felt that he went to a mixed school and has done well by many standards. Also, he had watched a random program where a man said he believes he became gay when he was sent off to an all boy’s boarding school.

These two thoughts were his main reasons for wanting a mixed school. His wife had good points also for choosing a single sex school but he was not ready to listen because he felt she was catching him unawares and he had not had time to marshal his points well. He does not even mention his own valid points and continued to harp on the fact that his wife wanted to show him up.

There were many dynamics going on. The “real” hubby wanted a mixed boarding school for two main reasons but he allowed his “representative” to put up a façade that brought strife. The wife also believed the worst, that her husband was just being unreasonable and just wanted to choose whatever was opposite of what she thought.

I hope I have not confused you with this scenario? Why is he walking like that? Why is he thinking that way? Why is he dressed like that? Why does he eat that way? Why has he made that decision? Why does he even look like that? Why does he spend money like that? Why does he not spend money like this? Why is she married to him and vice versa.

There are so many questions like this, that even though we ask, we are not interested in the correct answer. We ask the question and answer it depending on what we see, which is not always what the true picture is.

We will always ask these questions because we are individuals, in many cases, self-absorbed individuals who are convinced we have all the answers. We are not bothered with whether or not our answers are correct. Sometimes we are sincere in our conclusions but we are sincerely wrong.

The manual for living, says we should not judge other people. There are many interpretations of this (just a by the way, always read the manual for yourself, don’t just listen to other people interpret it for you because the person interpreting may be self-absorbed and so is telling you his own perspective which may not be Almighty’s perspective or Almighty’s perspective for you), but I believe one of it is that if you don’t know all the facts, don’t make a decision as to why he is walking that way. Eight times out of ten you will be wrong.

This is not even quoting the well-known adage that you should not judge a man if you have not walked in his shoes. This is because many of the people you judge , you will never walk in their shoes. This post is really for me, and i apologise publicly to all the many people i have wondered wrongly why they are walking like that.

Just a random piece of information. In the USA, the most popular birthdate is the 18th of September. I wonder why…… and I am sure it is not for any of the reasons you think.

Please , please nobody in this post is anybody you think you know, so please don’t conclude that you know couple AB. for once i did not use a true story.

September is half gone. Where does all the time go? Have a great week.

Grammarly says I have five grammer mistakes. I can’t find them. I hope you can’t too.

Upset, Subset, Reset

I went to a pilates class today and at one point the instructor said we should take our balls and before she could say the next instruction one lady exploded complaining loudly about how she did not have a ball or a block.She was so upset but the instructor calmly asked if anyone in the class had an extra ball or block. One was found and given to her. However, her explosion had made her look silly and irrational when the solution was so easy.

I, however, was sure that her explosion was not really about the piece of equipment she did not have. Have you heard the story told about a man who got stopped by the police and given a speeding ticket? In that anger (which he thought was justified because he was speeding in order to achieve a good thing), he told off his next in command when he got to the office who also in that anger told off his secretary, who in that anger ticked off the receptionist, who in turn, in that anger went home and told off her son who in that anger kicked his cat. It was obvious that the first man’s reaction was the reason the receptionist’s son’s cat got kicked. The first man might just as well have gone to the receptionist’s house and kicked her son’s cat. The things that cause Angry reactions are not always as a result of immediate stimulus but could be because of an earlier situation.

It was obvious that the first man’s reaction was the reason the receptionist’s son’s cat got kicked. The first man might just as well have gone to the receptionist’s house and kicked her son’s cat. The things that cause Angry reactions are not always as a result of immediate stimulus but could be because of an earlier situation.

The definition of anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. In researching this piece, I tried to find out what makes people get upset (or should I say angry) and there were very many reasons. Some are due to what others do to us, some are due to what we do to others, some are due to what we do to ourselves. The fact is that almost anything has the capability of making us angry.

The first thing we have to recognise if we are susceptible to anger (whether quickly or not) is that we are susceptible to anger. When we tell ourselves the truth on various issues the battle is won. Our manual for living, says when we know the truth, that truth will set us free.

Many years ago, when I was fairly newly married, I used to attend a meeting of older married women once a week and they would offer advice on various topics. it was a good meeting because it opened my eyes to many truths that truly set me free from a lot of issues that were non-issues but I thought differently.

There was another young lady who attended and used to tell us horror stories for example that her husband was sleeping with the nanny and when she confronted him with the information, that he beat the two of them up stating that women were to be slept with. I was horrified by her tales and found them difficult to believe and wondered if they were true why she would stay in that kind of situation. (By the way, this was one of the less horrific tales she had to tell).

Many months later she came to the meeting to tell of how her husband had now turned full circle to be a near model husband. Of course, everybody wanted to know how it happened. She explained that she sat down and examined her own behaviour and many facts that she never told us for example how she beat him up on many occasions and how she refused him many things on many occasions and so on. When she had recognised that she was not the best person to live with she then decided to change and become much better on many levels and low and behold her husband also did a complete about turn.

(Please don’t get me wrong I am not saying being in an abusive relationship is your fault and things are as simple as you changing your behaviour will make everything fine. I am just recounting a true story).

This kind of reset may not  happen immediately but as Einstein said, to continue to do the same thing and expect a different result is nothing short of madness. So going back to anger we should try to put into sets or subsets the things that trigger our anger. (Of course, not everybody has issues with anger). This is strictly only for those who do. So a few examples of the things that apparently trigger anger are, being given a cold shoulder, poor customer service, miscommunication, being accused wrongly,

So a few examples of the things that apparently trigger anger are, being given a cold shoulder, poor customer service, misinformation, being wrongly accused, bad nutrition, a lack of sleep. To be honest the list is endless.We need to come up with our own lists. What the experts say it that we should then work a way around these triggers or at worst, if we can’t avoid them work out a way such that their effect does not turn into a full blown upset.

The things that cause upsets on their own may not be such a bad thing. The problem is the effect they have on situations and people. Our manual for living advises that we should live in peace with everybody as best as we can. This means there may be situations in which you may not be able to live in peace with someone. The plan should be to heed this advice as best as you can.

This is easier said than done. If this was someone you don’t have to live with, then you can do a dance that gets you out of the line of upsets. However what happens if the person is close to you like a family member or a colleague. I am not a Dear Dolly columnist so I am not here to advise you on how to go about it. What I am here to do is to let you know what may happen to you if you don’t heed this advice of finding a way to get out of the line of upsets.

Discord, which is what constant upset brings, is the worst thing you can do to your health. Many terminally ill people are always being persuaded that what they need is peace because the body is made up of flesh, blood and emotions. In many societies, the emotion is not recognised at all. There are many ailments that the doctors don’t know the cause of but many doctors are beginning to advocate that people pay more attention to their emotions.

There is a quick tip from the maker’s manual. Forgiveness goes a long way in healing emotions.Many people say forgive and forget. Well, that is not in the maker’s manual. Forgiveness is there but not forgetting, although it is fantastic if you can forget. There have been many stories of people who have had physical healing once they could forgive an offending party.Even when you are the offending party, emotional healing comes also when you ask for forgiveness.

Forgiveness starts the process of resetting but permanent reset comes with again doing an analysis on yourself once you know the triggers for anger try to avoid them. If you are the trigger for someone else’s upset then you should find a way not to be a trigger.

A major reset button is having some quiet time with Almighty. The world is so noisy that there is never time to be quiet. In fact, too many of us are afraid of being quiet. So many of the things that cause upsets can actually be avoided if we can just get quiet with Him and read the maker’s manual.

During a quiet time, you may want to ask Almighty, how in your own circumstance you can achieve the advice to follow peace with all men as much as possible. There are many issues you can resolve just by asking Almighty for direction during quiet time with Him. I don’t have the answers and let me assure you not many people have the answers for your issues but Almighty can give you answers to the most difficult questions.

It is time to reset. Being in a permanent mode of upset definitely causes all kinds of ailments.

So to recap, know getting upset is not good for you. Think as to what causes your upsets, isolate these things, ask Almighty for how to reset these upsets and then reset.

Oh! My word, am I a failure?

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I like to start off with definitions. Before I go into definitions I feel I must explain why I have not upgraded as I announced a few blog posts ago.I have two daughters in digital marketing who assured me it was not necessary and I would not get any points for upgrading… so I have not upgraded the blog site.

I am trying to do only what is necessary. We all, however, know that life is not that black and white. Some things may not be necessary but we do them anyway because we can and because it brings somebody joy (not necessarily us).

Back to the definition. Failure is the absence of success. So what is success? The dictionary says it is the victory or triumph of a thing. The good outcome of a thing. This reminds me of a fact about New york crime fighters.

Apparently, when the anti- drug enforcement team are celebrating a huge drug bust, the anti-vice squad have increased work, keeping all the druggies who need a fix and are going crazy committing all kinds of crimes because the cost of drugs has gone up as a result of the drug bust.

This means that success may not be a universal word because what is recognised as success here may be the opposite in other quarters. So, for example, social media is good on some fronts but terrible on some others. Sometimes what was initially celebrated as a success may end up being referred to as a failure in the long run.

I remember when social media brought down a government , many hailed social media. however, the country where this happened has become war torn and the jury is still out as to the success of the role of social media in the preceding anti-government attack via social media.

There is the example of marriages that go south soon after wedding ceremonies. Before the ceremonies, the families think they have been successful but when they go south they think they are failures. However in the cases of domestic violence even upon separation some families think they have been successful because at least their family member came out of the situation alive and not dead or maimed.

I don’t know if you can tell that this was not the way I expected this blog post to go. I was feeling a little down in the dumps because I don’t yet have a break through on one or two of my projects and was going to have a public pity party. Also, it is almost the end of the year and we tend to make all kinds of assessments at this time.

I am now seeing however that success has many shades and sides to it. So I am not a failure depending on which side of the coin you are looking at. I can comfort myself by saying that I at least started a project. Many are locked in a comfort zone with golden handcuffs and they cannot see they are prisoners. (Again if this describes the always smiling lady at the check out in your favourite store , then I hope she stays there because her smile is what people need sometimes).

I may comfort myself by saying the snail speed of the project does not mean failure as a turnaround may just be round the next bend in the road. I may comfort myself by saying that tomorrow morning is another day for me to change things and turn them around.

There was a king called David many years ago who experienced what he and the people at the time called failure. So,  he committed adultery with the wife of one of his soldiers who was fighting at the war front. When the lady got pregnant , King David tried to cover up by giving the soldier an exeat from the war front to visit his wife.

Even though the soldier came home he refused (from a sense of duty and team playing with his fellow soldiers still at the war front) , to lie with his wife thereby defeating the whole purpose of his been brought back home. This meant that the lady could not pass off her pregnancy as her husband’s. To further cover up King David sent the soldier back to the most heated part of the battle and engineered his death.

He married this lady and she had a baby. The baby eventually died and King David become depressed. He wrote a popular verse asking himself why he was so downcast( so unhappy).

A few pointers here. When you are feeling like a failure you need to acknowledge that feeling and ask yourself why you are feeling thas way. When you think deeply ( again, thinking a dying but important art) you will get answers that will help you move forward. Do not get stuck. Try to retrace your steps to see where you went wrong. The mind is powerful and can play games on you. ( This is true, go and read about the right brain and the left brain).

This project or whatever, may not even be for you. You may need to take another path that you can use your same skills and passion for, but just not this particular thing.Be careful not to be too all over the place. You may be trying to do too much. when I was younger , you got points for “multi-tasking” now we know that even though you may do two things at the same time , you are not likely to do them both at the same level of quality. You may also be killing yourself with stress and cortisol.

Is it possible that you are not looking at the coin from the right angle? So to go back to King David, even though his affair was not a good thing in the end because of introspection , he repented and himself and this lady had a child that is now known as the wisest and richest man who ever lived.

Is it possible that you are not patient enough to see the success that is not visible right now but is actually there? Who do you surround yourself with? This project may not mean much to them but mean the world to someone else. You may be trying to serve the wrong people.

I watched an Oprah show once and she said everybody always wants to now how they had done on the show whenever the show ended, even the most influential people. We are most times so concerned with public opinion. Maybe the public does not know much about much or maybe you are not asking the right public.

This sounds to me like I have said this before in an earlier blog post. Please forgive me if you have heard this before.It is not for you but that person reading this  for the first time.

Apparently, the man who invented the contraceptive pill died a pauper, almost unknown and unloved. Over the years there have been mixed feelings about his invention, which has now been proved to help keep cancer at bay in the women who use it.

When King David had asked himself the hard truth of why he was so unhappy, he made a wise decision to always put his hope in Almighty and always praise Him. Why should he bother with this, after all Almighty was there before his predicament of seeming failure.

He had however read Almighty’s words that say if He (Almighty) is on your side , you may trip seven times but you will always get back on your feet. Almighty’s words are truths that you can take to the bank because they are everlasting.

This is not the time to throw in the towel. Go back to the drawing board. The world is waiting for your input. You are extremely important and precious. Don’t waste your time pity partying. It is an expensive venture and not fulfilling in the long run.

To answer the question, no you are not a failure but a success about to happen.

Physically, Materially, Spiritually!

I must apologise that I seem to have been missing in action last week. I have been travelling with limited internet access. I am tempted to use the excuse that I have been busy but that will only be an excuse and as I don’t like excuses I will not be going down that line.

I am trying to mentor a young man and have been advising him about the virtues of living within a structure so as to make maximum impact for himself. How do you start putting structures into your life and living. There is so much to balance and get right.

Take Physically for example. Physically in this regard means everything pertaining to the body. It is important to put structures up so that your body does not disappoint you in the near or distant future. To be honest, if your body is not where it should be it will be difficult to achieve much in other areas of your life. So this area should include how you plan to feed your body, exercise it, adorn it and give it rest, just to mention some broad parameters.

What you plan to feed it should be carefully considered. With a lot of research (actually only a little research will do), you will realise that there are very many things you can eat that are not necessarily good for you. Even though your ethnicity and where you live and the kind of work you do impacts on the best diet for you, there are some things that universally are not good for you. So excessive sugar is not good for you, regardless of who you are. Sugar makes most people fat (and fat is unhealthy)and even if it does not make you fat, it is still unhealthy. I have said excessive because in our present day world if you were to avoid it completely you would probably have to stop eating everything.

There are also different kinds of sugar, those that are unhealthy and those that are healthy. I can assure you though that if you take even the healthy sugars excessively, they will become unhealthy. I am not going to dwell on the nitty gritty of what you eat, just that you have to think about it and make sure you feel your best when you eat the things you eat. For example, I have noticed that I feel tired and lethargic when I eat some things and very hyper when I eat some other things.

Part of physical structures is exercise and movement. All this adds to the well-being of the body and therefore of yourself. Age can help us define what we do for wise exercise. A few people in their sixties jog but honestly jogging at that age is not necessarily the best form of exercise. What we need to focus on is activity and not necessarily exercise. Exercise gives the impression that a certain time has to be dedicated to this. Activity levels are actually the better thing to monitor than exercise. Do not get me wrong, exercise is good but if you exercise thirty minutes a day (which is what is recommended) and your activity level for the rest of the day is zero, you have not only defeated the purpose but have made that thirty minute exercise harmful because it has deceived you into thinking you are fit when you are not.

Knowing how to manage stress is also setting up structures for the physical part of you. Stress can jeopardise everything else. This involves our sleep patterns and what we do to relax that will not ultimately harm us. For example, some people started watching pornography in order to relax and then they got addicted. I was listening to a Ted talk recently that painted a really gruesome picture of the sorry and sad lives of people who had pornographic addictions. Certainly not the way anybody would want to live. This goes for many addictions that start off as forms of relaxation.

Take Materially as another example. Materially in this context is in terms of material possessions. What is your plan for material things, how do you plan to earn a living. Are you an establishment person, do you want to work in an organisation until you retire? If this is you, you have to decide what kind of job you want to do and in what industry or environment. Many people just find themselves in a certain place. If this is you , you don’t have to stay there. Don’t just walk out please but have a plan. Please know that what you studied in school is not who you are and may not reflect your gifts or passion. If it does, congratulations. If not, don’t be perplexed, this is common. an education only prepares you for living and  should not bind you to your course.

If you are an entrepreneur, be sure you have chosen the right thing to do. The rule of thumb is that you are doing something that you love doing so much, you could do it for free and often do it for free if the need arises.Once you have zeroed in on this, write your vision and think through the strategy as best as you can. There is a truth that you should write your vision down so that all the people who read it can understand it and run with the vision if they are associated with you.

When thinking materially, you will need to do research and keep abreast of what is going on in that area of business and what is current and what is obsolete. Depending on whether or not you are an entrepreneur will determine how much you need to know and how much you need to adjust and balance.

The difference between an establishment person and an entrepreneur is a profile thing, it is not how much you know. To be sure, take a psychometric test. It is a scientific way of knowing where you fall, if you are unsure.

A lot of thought has to go into deciding on so many things. I may have mentioned it in some of my past posts. Thinking is a dying art, and for sure,  you cannot be successful without thinking no matter what colour success is for you.

Finally, let’s look at Spiritually, because I believe this  is the cornerstone that ties all goal setting and plans together but is constantly overlooked because most of us cannot touch or see it. For our purposes, Spiritually here means relating to the spirit or soul, as distinguished from the physical nature. Where, devotion and worship of a higher being emanates.

Does this not just happen? Nope , the spiritual realm exists and it is up to us to tap into where we want to be plugged and remain plugged. The fact that you decide you don’t want to have anything to do with that realm does not mean it does not exist and that the goings on in that realm will not have anything to do with you. As you can imagine there is so much happening in the spiritual realm, truths and untruths exist and we must be circumspect when it comes to spiritual things.

There is so much  happening in the spiritual realm, we must be sure to be plugged into the way, the truth and the life. I can recommend only what I know. The Almighty is the creator of heaven and earth and He saves by grace. It has nothing to do with your behaviour. He wants you to come into His fold but needs you to invite Him in so He can lead you in. He is a gentleman and will not force Himself on you. When you accept Him , all your old sins will be like you never did those things. If you are currently connected to a higher power that terrifies you or controls you by fear, that is not Almighty.

Hooking up with Almighty allows you to leave the heavy lifting of life in His hands and He promises to keep and establish whatever is committed into His hands until the end. He is dependable and serious. Don’t take my word for it. Try Him and see what happens. Just get quiet and ask Him into your heart and thank Him for Jesus His son. His manual says confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and you believe in your heart that Almighty raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Once you have done this, if you give Him time every day He will look out for you.

Are these the only areas to set goals? Not at all. You can set career goals within the material sphere. You can set fitness goals within the physical sphere. You can set emotional intelligence goals. You can set social spectrum goals. The number of goals you can set are innumerable. The long and short is that you need a plan in order to achieve. Set up structures that should work for you. Don’t set goals that lock you in with no room to manoeuvre. They are made for you, not you for them.

by the time you are reading this , it will be the first day of the last quarter of this year. A time to set up structure that would have taken root by the end of the year. You will be ahead of those who will be setting goals in the new year. Just do it.

Of Bio-individuality, DNA & Finger Print

The World today is working hard to make us all look alike. People are putting in butt implants, changing the shape of their noses and putting in fake dimples ( to mention a few) just so we can look like that person who carries the dimples well or a big derrière gracefully (even though that is difficult for me to imagine).

Every single person is created as an individual and the innate parts of you cannot be replicated. Those parts of you that really matter cannot be copied. Even if you change your sex or anything else you cannot change who you innately are. You cannot transform yourself into someone else. This is definitely not Instagram’s message.

Do you know that there are over 300 recognised and registered diet formulas in the Western world? (I say Western because there are identifiable records that show this. Needless to say, there are many more diets all over the world that have not been recorded). All these diets have been scientifically proven to work. However, they don’t all work for everybody. You have heard it said that one man’s meat is another man’s poison. Some people lose weight drastically and keep it off while the same diet makes some other people sick as dogs.

Many years ago, I wanted to learn to pray and as with the way spiritual things go, the very next service I was going to attend in church, the minister announced he was going to teach on prayer. I was excited and got out my pen and notebook to write what he was going to say. It sounded great and backed with words from the manual for living, I believed I had got what I was looking for.

Lo and behold the next four services had different ministers all teaching on prayer and their teachings were all quite different. It then struck me that even though there are a few principles of prayer (like praying always through Jesus to the Father) you have to develop your own style of prayer. It is quite difficult praying the same way someone else does. Prayer is supposed to be communication with a dynamic being, trying to pray in ways, not of your own style and design makes praying boring for you and maybe unreal to  Almighty.

This is the same way in which what we are created to do and achieve is as different as there are people. Not every purpose brings fame and fortune. I knew a grandmother who was unassuming and very simple. At her death, a huge women’s and youth centre that she had built was unveiled and commissioned. This was a great achievement in terms of the quality and size of the structure and the many things that the place can be used for. Even though we will remember her for it, she did not get any fame or fortune for her initiative in her lifetime.

There is another person who is a famous computer and business guru (not even as far as computer gurus go today) who spent many years amassing ridiculous amounts of money only to give it out in the millions of dollars. He got fame and fortune in his first initiative and definitely, fame in his second initiative.

There are many people discouraged because even though they have all kinds of creative initiatives none has brought them fame or fortune. Many are wondering what the point of what they are doing is because they can’t see results as they think it should be. There is a story told of a man who Almighty had told to push a table. He pushed and pushed and after a while, he went back to Almighty to say he was going to quit because the table was not moving. Almighty told him to read the instructions again. Almighty said He had instructed him to push the table and not to move it. Do you get it?

So let us take a stay at home mum. Many people (including the stay at home mums) don’t think highly of this job. It is, however, one of the most important jobs on earth. I am not going to write a treatise but a lot of instances (I am not saying in absolutely every case) the children who come from such homes are very well adjusted. The cases where this is not so is usually because the stay at home mum does not herself appreciate her role. She does not focus on it and is constantly looking for a better role while doing her current role half-heartedly.

There was the story of a woman in our manual for living, who won the war for her kinsmen by driving a tent peg through the head of the commander in chief of the opposing army. She lived in an era when she and her family lived in a mobile home that was a huge tent. They moved around often because they went where there was work. She had to help with putting the tent up and taking it down such that she developed an expertise, which may not have been appreciated at the time. By the way, the tents then were not the puny little things we have now but were like present day marquees.

Once when they had just moved and they had just finished putting up their tent, the commander of the opposing army needed some rest, saw a seemingly helpless woman and asked her to allow him to enter her tent and take a nap. She was hospitable to him and not only allowed him to enter her tent for a nap but also gave him warm milk (to lull him into even deeper sleep). As soon as he got comfortable she used her initiative and was strong enough to drive a tent peg into his skull, thereby killing him.

Just from this story, you can tell that she was versatile, strong, hospitable, thinking on her feet and fearless. This is without mentioning her numerous other qualities.

This is the Olympic season and the start of the European football season, so no matter how much I try, I cannot get away from sports even if I tried ( and believe me I have tried). Anyway, I am happy I did not succeed because I have just been loving the way the athletes were prepared and are taking their sports seriously. There was a young chap who won a gold medal and broke a longstanding world record and honestly watching him, he made it seem such a breeze.

I watched an interview he gave and there was a clip of an interview with his seventy-five-year-old female coach. She had also trained many other athletes who have also done many firsts. Guess what, we will never know very much about her, at least not as much as we will get to know about the star athlete concerned.

This is also the same for a lot of coaches who are ready put in a lot of hard work to push others forward for fame and fortune.

Whatever you are doing today is great if you are getting fame and fortune. However, if you are not yet seeing the fame and fortune it is not enough to quit as long as you are adding value.

Do not be quick to be like the Jones. Let me tell you a secret , believe it or not, the Jones are thinking you are worthy of copying.

Remember that you are wonderfully and fearfully made. That just means that you are awesome, beautiful, genius, loving and lovable. Don’t let social media and the noise of the market tell you otherwise.

It is great if you are currently being the best you can be. However if for any reason you are not operating at maximum effectiveness and efficiency, just know that the beginning of every day marks a time when you can turn your life around in the right direction. The manual says joy comes in the morning. So “good morning”, time for joy.

Oh you know I said I could not imagine anyone with a big derrière being graceful, I take that back. I am writing this at the Cape Town South African airport and if you have ever been to South Africa you will see women of various size derrière (implant less might I add) moving gracefully.

I am not speaking against those who implant this that and the other. Almighty is magnanimous and gives us free will and will not stop us from acting out our free will. However the manual tells us a truth that what you sow, we will reap. There are consequences for all our actions so think it through before you act.

Doing Peace!!!

There are so many pressures in our present day world. There is so much technology that  is apparently supposed to make life easier but human emotions are laboring under more stress than ever before.

It is getting so common now to find people getting up and shooting complete strangers dead just because their emotional state is completely stressed out. Remember the story of a pilot who flew an entire plane into the side of a mountain killing himself and every other person on the plane again because he was so stressed out.

More and more we are told it is depression and the doctors say depression may be genetic but that high-stress levels increase the incidence.

This is just one of a myriad of diseases and ailments that have a real connection to high-stress levels. The emphasis here is on “high”. Stress in itself is welcome and very necessary or…

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J-E-S-U-S……JESUS PP

Jesus is the Prince of peace: (Isaiah 9:6) – Jesus did not come to bring peace to the world as in the absence of war, but peace between God and man who were separated by sin. He died to reconcile sinners to a holy God.

Even with all the war in the world,  with Jesus PP, there will be peace in your life. Invite Him into your life He will give you peace. He will give you rest, He will give you sleep.

He will give you peace in difficult situations, peace in situations you do not understand, peace in situations of grief, lack and in all kinds of adverse situations.

He is a real person who is still alive today. He is not positive thinking of the universe. He is Jesus

View original post

J-E-S-U-S……JESUS PP

Jesus is the Prince of peace: (Isaiah 9:6) – Jesus did not come to bring peace to the world as in the absence of war, but peace between God and man who were separated by sin. He died to reconcile sinners to a holy God.

Even with all the war in the world,  with Jesus PP, there will be peace in your life. Invite Him into your life He will give you peace. He will give you rest, He will give you sleep.

He will give you peace in difficult situations, peace in situations you do not understand, peace in situations of grief, lack and in all kinds of adverse situations.

He is a real person who is still alive today. He is not positive thinking of the universe. He is Jesus