I went to a pilates class today and at one point the instructor said we should take our balls and before she could say the next instruction one lady exploded complaining loudly about how she did not have a ball or a block.She was so upset but the instructor calmly asked if anyone in the class had an extra ball or block. One was found and given to her. However, her explosion had made her look silly and irrational when the solution was so easy.
I, however, was sure that her explosion was not really about the piece of equipment she did not have. Have you heard the story told about a man who got stopped by the police and given a speeding ticket? In that anger (which he thought was justified because he was speeding in order to achieve a good thing), he told off his next in command when he got to the office who also in that anger told off his secretary, who in that anger ticked off the receptionist, who in turn, in that anger went home and told off her son who in that anger kicked his cat. It was obvious that the first man’s reaction was the reason the receptionist’s son’s cat got kicked. The first man might just as well have gone to the receptionist’s house and kicked her son’s cat. The things that cause Angry reactions are not always as a result of immediate stimulus but could be because of an earlier situation.
It was obvious that the first man’s reaction was the reason the receptionist’s son’s cat got kicked. The first man might just as well have gone to the receptionist’s house and kicked her son’s cat. The things that cause Angry reactions are not always as a result of immediate stimulus but could be because of an earlier situation.
The definition of anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. In researching this piece, I tried to find out what makes people get upset (or should I say angry) and there were very many reasons. Some are due to what others do to us, some are due to what we do to others, some are due to what we do to ourselves. The fact is that almost anything has the capability of making us angry.
The first thing we have to recognise if we are susceptible to anger (whether quickly or not) is that we are susceptible to anger. When we tell ourselves the truth on various issues the battle is won. Our manual for living, says when we know the truth, that truth will set us free.
Many years ago, when I was fairly newly married, I used to attend a meeting of older married women once a week and they would offer advice on various topics. it was a good meeting because it opened my eyes to many truths that truly set me free from a lot of issues that were non-issues but I thought differently.
There was another young lady who attended and used to tell us horror stories for example that her husband was sleeping with the nanny and when she confronted him with the information, that he beat the two of them up stating that women were to be slept with. I was horrified by her tales and found them difficult to believe and wondered if they were true why she would stay in that kind of situation. (By the way, this was one of the less horrific tales she had to tell).
Many months later she came to the meeting to tell of how her husband had now turned full circle to be a near model husband. Of course, everybody wanted to know how it happened. She explained that she sat down and examined her own behaviour and many facts that she never told us for example how she beat him up on many occasions and how she refused him many things on many occasions and so on. When she had recognised that she was not the best person to live with she then decided to change and become much better on many levels and low and behold her husband also did a complete about turn.
(Please don’t get me wrong I am not saying being in an abusive relationship is your fault and things are as simple as you changing your behaviour will make everything fine. I am just recounting a true story).
This kind of reset may not happen immediately but as Einstein said, to continue to do the same thing and expect a different result is nothing short of madness. So going back to anger we should try to put into sets or subsets the things that trigger our anger. (Of course, not everybody has issues with anger). This is strictly only for those who do. So a few examples of the things that apparently trigger anger are, being given a cold shoulder, poor customer service, miscommunication, being accused wrongly,
So a few examples of the things that apparently trigger anger are, being given a cold shoulder, poor customer service, misinformation, being wrongly accused, bad nutrition, a lack of sleep. To be honest the list is endless.We need to come up with our own lists. What the experts say it that we should then work a way around these triggers or at worst, if we can’t avoid them work out a way such that their effect does not turn into a full blown upset.
The things that cause upsets on their own may not be such a bad thing. The problem is the effect they have on situations and people. Our manual for living advises that we should live in peace with everybody as best as we can. This means there may be situations in which you may not be able to live in peace with someone. The plan should be to heed this advice as best as you can.
This is easier said than done. If this was someone you don’t have to live with, then you can do a dance that gets you out of the line of upsets. However what happens if the person is close to you like a family member or a colleague. I am not a Dear Dolly columnist so I am not here to advise you on how to go about it. What I am here to do is to let you know what may happen to you if you don’t heed this advice of finding a way to get out of the line of upsets.
Discord, which is what constant upset brings, is the worst thing you can do to your health. Many terminally ill people are always being persuaded that what they need is peace because the body is made up of flesh, blood and emotions. In many societies, the emotion is not recognised at all. There are many ailments that the doctors don’t know the cause of but many doctors are beginning to advocate that people pay more attention to their emotions.
There is a quick tip from the maker’s manual. Forgiveness goes a long way in healing emotions.Many people say forgive and forget. Well, that is not in the maker’s manual. Forgiveness is there but not forgetting, although it is fantastic if you can forget. There have been many stories of people who have had physical healing once they could forgive an offending party.Even when you are the offending party, emotional healing comes also when you ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness starts the process of resetting but permanent reset comes with again doing an analysis on yourself once you know the triggers for anger try to avoid them. If you are the trigger for someone else’s upset then you should find a way not to be a trigger.
A major reset button is having some quiet time with Almighty. The world is so noisy that there is never time to be quiet. In fact, too many of us are afraid of being quiet. So many of the things that cause upsets can actually be avoided if we can just get quiet with Him and read the maker’s manual.
During a quiet time, you may want to ask Almighty, how in your own circumstance you can achieve the advice to follow peace with all men as much as possible. There are many issues you can resolve just by asking Almighty for direction during quiet time with Him. I don’t have the answers and let me assure you not many people have the answers for your issues but Almighty can give you answers to the most difficult questions.
It is time to reset. Being in a permanent mode of upset definitely causes all kinds of ailments.
So to recap, know getting upset is not good for you. Think as to what causes your upsets, isolate these things, ask Almighty for how to reset these upsets and then reset.